S on the brain

Circling and circling

An endless loop

 

Fascination

An endless constant

Infatuation

 

He consumes my thought

I consume his body

I take him

He makes me

Feel I am the only

The one

 

He leaves me

 

I cannot describe

What he does for me

What he does to me

He does not know

And he may never

 

For this lust

I carry

Is all my own

 

For me to bear

For me to wear

For me to struggle

 

To frustrate my warm

Softness and flesh

 

My patience

My soul

My lips

My hips

 

Between them he lives

And he knows none of it

Newly Entangled

To begin the new year.

Have I complicated?

Placated…?

Some need of my own…

Or theirs…?

Maybe.

Do I feel guilty?

I do not know.

I may have created a problem though

Have I done this before?

Perhaps, it has been so

Have I hurt ones before…

This I know, I know.

I know!

Never in this way…

This time seems…

Different.

He looks at me as if I’m

Magic.

Lovely.

Sublime.

Innocent.

But when he touches me…

I become lascivious!

He leaves me weak.

He leaves me breathless.

With constant talk, yet now, can’t speak.

Two separate beings

Beautiful in their own way

I’m in love with so much

Yet, to choose..?

I would break.

I shall remain entangled.

For the love of this entanglement

Cannot be matched

The love of the lust

Passionately.

Magical.

Is what I truly want

To. Be. Entangled.

 

Ready. Set. Repeat: Mein Kampf

The battles of yesterday today and tomorrow are ever-present and current within, and far from over, yet I am overwhelmed with the emotional burden

The weight

The stench

The ever-present lingering odor emanating from my heavy heart crushed and used yet ready to be burdened once more by the saga of the days as I go on, because I just can’t get enough

Enough!

Enough of the tawdry play on the metaphysical intangible delight-able, time to set free of the redolence that weighs down your mind and heart and simply shower in the downpour of the new uncontaminated virginal life of the unsettled no-mans-land awaiting

Its what you want

And need?

To seemingly set you free…

Free from what? Emotion? Emotion is my fuel my catalyst my madness my ecstasy my darkness my light my satisfaction my merriment my delight my right!! My perpetual pendulum swinging erratic, Reproducing at undesirable rates of untold haste so rapid, rapidly rapping, multiplying , this pendulum of swinging emotions side by side, together, one , separate sporadic contradictory and consistent yet fully and awarely working as one, hasty emotion works in mysterious ways

Or so they say

But who are they?

These who say…

and so, she

And so it is, or so it seemed

As if relived, once in a dream

Not to recall, as leaves do fall

Almost remembered

Yet not at all.

And so it is, and yet not quite

She’s an unfinished, roaring delight

Never attempting

She never tried, but here she stood

Ready to fly.

And so is flight, reimagined life 

She gave her self, her heart and sight

Caring the least 

She fought for her, her inner beast 

Re-imagined life.

And so it is, or so it seemed

She is more, more than once dreamed

Never gave up

Never succumbed

She was much more

She was not done.