So today, in Brooklyn: It was hot and sticky and most unpleasant. But I mustered up the energy to pull myself together and get out of the house – I could no longer sit looking at my computer. Well, I mean I could have. But I couldn’t access my work email due to my forgetting the password and the system locking me out….so I decided it might be time to get out of the house :)
Having come to this conclusion – I took a shower that turned out pointless – put on some clothes without much thought or desired look behind the whole ‘get-up’ – and made my way to the streets. I quite literally just walked. Just walked around. Block to block. Place to avenue. Street to street. No destination. No intention. But I do have a pretty great sense of direction – so I couldn’t get lost – although I tried. During this unashamed, silly and pointless walkabout – I had men from a mixture of ethnic backgrounds telling me I was beautiful. One kid was almost stunned – or at least he sounded like he was. I mean, I believed him at least (he should be an actor, whether he was lying or not). At the time, I smiled and it was cute, but thinking about it after the fact, I mean how absolutely lovely. Seriously. I couldn’t have been out more than an hour and by that time I had already racked up around 5 admirers. A few that were in a car, at a recently changed green light with traffic behind them – and they just wanted me to do what? just acknowledge them? – so I did. I waved. No biggie.
I just think it is fascinating to have that happen. To me, when I first moved here, it seemed as though men just call you beautiful as if they were calling you by name. I have heard it so many times. So regularly, that I don’t really flinch or smile even slightly anymore – solely because it lost its luster (not because I’m narcissistic – I promise). But when that kid walked past me, quite literally gasped, and said it like he meant it – I believed him. I believe he truly meant it. I thought it was beautiful and he was also beautiful in turn for reacting the way he did. It was without question, the most beautiful encounter I have ever had. Today, in Brooklyn, I am happy to live in New York. I am happy to be single in New York. I am happy I know that I don’t need the validation, but I am happy that my lack of need has thus then fostered what it was meant to eliminate. Today, in Brooklyn, I think I realized my self-worth. How beautiful :)